she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
