There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
