Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
