he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
