It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
