So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
