Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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