i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
