Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
420 ftw
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
