There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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