I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
