but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
