Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Congratulations! We have a period
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