the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
