don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
