we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
