I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
