i just wanna soil my oats bro
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
