I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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