do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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