It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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