So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
