we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize