It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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