That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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