She said her name was "party"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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