so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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