apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
