i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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