Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm at about main and main street
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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