I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize