last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
