Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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