She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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