i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
