you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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