literally had 100 drinks last night.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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