its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
