forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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