Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize