i was rollin on her like bob the builder
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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