we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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