Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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