he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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