after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize