How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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