Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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