erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You've changed since you got that strap on
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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