Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
