So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
