Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
