your thong is hanging out like whoa
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize