Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
