u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
