I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
