what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
