Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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