ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
