Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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