...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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