Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
