im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
