There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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