grandma shit on top of the toilet
it's like iHOP with fire
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
