so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
